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I'm a full time carer for my highly disabled mum and step father & my autistic and hyperactive little brother.

Sunday 25 February 2007

Boding Silence

-- The entry below entry has been saved as a draft since the 25th February 2007. I thought I might as well post it. --

I don't consider myself a 'clogger' (one who makes a few blog entries and then stops altogether), the truth is that there has simply been nothing interesting to right about.

You see, I'm almost a full time baby sitter to my sweet little nephew, Dylan (Bink, Binky, Binky Bob, BeelzeBink, Binkelzebob, Bobbles, Mr. Biggles or combinations of those). I have to look after him at night but the thing is I'm an incredibly heavy sleeper. The house next door could blow up and the my reaction might simply be to roll over. So I refuse to go to sleep when I have him. I might wake up when he makes those cute little baby noises; the gasps and the 'false alarms' (when he starts to cry in his sleep but then goes on sleeping) and I might do this for an hour, more or less, and then the last time I'll reach the pillow and stay there and mum (who isn't very well, anyway) will come to see to him if he goes on crying for a prolonged period of time.

On a weekday I'll have him until about 10am, more or less, because everybody will either be at work or at school or, in mum's case, won't get back from taking Chug to school until sometime between 10am and 12pm. So me and young Bink spend a good deal of quality time together; I get to spend most of my days (nights) without anybody asking me to do stuff, which is a blessing.

He'll generally wake up between 3am and 6am because of discomfort in his nappy but he won't let you change it or stop screaming until he's given a bottle. Don't get me wrong; he's one of the happiest, sweetest and most loving babies I have ever met, always laughing, giggling and instantly warm affectionate to just about everybody. He just get's very impatient when he doesn't get his bottle as soon as he wakes up.

Today was somewhat anomalous, though; he woke up happy and smiling and practising his oral sounds (little 'ahhh's', 'oooh's' and 'ahgoo's' and continued happily in this manner for 15 to 30 minutes until I could stand his cuteness no longer and picked him up for a cuddle. He watched Avatar from my lap with me and Chuggle but kept diving forwards to Chug, who was lying in front of us, until I gently lowered him until Chug, where he most happily cuddled and wrestled his 11 year old uncle (it was his birthday, yesterday).

The flip side is that, unless I'm watching films or DVDs with Dave I have nobody to talk to until bink wakes up... And try as he might; he just isn't the conversationalist he thinks he is. (The baby, not Dave. Dave can be a great conversationalist when he wants to be; we'll sit up and discuss all kinds of things, but he's addicted to TV and movies. I don't mind watching movies but I can't handle many more than 5 a week at a stretch).

So my 'free' nights are largely spent playing World of Warcraft and trying to figure out the best times to have me 3 meals a day in conjuncture with the time I get up and when I estimate I'll go to bed.

Saterday was Chug's Birthday so I stayed up through the day until about 6pm. I took him to play some LAN battles of some starwars RTS and the latest expansion of battle for middle earth.

I also got him a new office chair to replace his miniature typist's chair which, apart from £10 from his dad, was his only gift that I'm aware of, since we're having money troubles atm and Mum and Jeff are broke. He's hoping to get 'Hoodwinked' on DVD and the afore mentioned battle for middle earth expansion. We got Pizza on the way home, I ate my share and don't remember what else I did before I went to bed.

I remember feeling awful about the state I was in that day, being so tired and lethargic and I dragged myself through all the things I promised to do, only to cut my time with him short and go to bed.

He spent the rest of the day on his PC playing games in his room, trying to wake me every few hours. I eventually woke up at roughly midnight to find that, once again, nobody had put him to sleep in my absence. That is, if I don't put him to bed nobody else will even try. (They have tried in the past, I guess they gave up on that particular task).

That night was uneventful; the baby woke up some time after the WoW server went down (I don't remember why they took them down) and I took him for some milk (we were all out of the pre-made stuff so I had to mix him some powdered, but I left the kettle on for too long and had to leave it under a running tap for a while). When all of that was done we settled down to watch Mannequin until he fell asleep (he
--I don't remember what the rest of the sentance was suppsed to be, apparently this is where I stopped typing

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